to be civil is a privilege

thugzmansion:

iconoclasticallyqueer:

You’ve already lost the debate when you resort to tone trolling. Either the information is correct or it is not - the tone in which it is presented is immaterial.

When you say something absurd like “blacks can be racist against whites”, expect to have your claim refuted in a rather firm, direct way. And if you want to discuss complex sociological ideas and at the same time think you can create definitions for words - words which already have specific, important usages directly pertaining to the subject at hand - that support your preconceptions, expect to be taken to task.

I just can’t handle people who evade taking responsibility for their institutional privilege and try to pretend that there isn’t a categorical and fundamental difference between the power dynamics of POC being oppressed by whites and POC fighting against global white hegemony to regain some semblance of independence and a sliver of the power that is hoarded by white countries.

But most of all, I cannot handle people who think that being CIVIL trumps all other considerations. It makes my skin crawl. To tell a person that their anger or hatred is unacceptable is to silence and erase them, and that directly is oppressive

To be civil is a privilege. To argue dispassionately is a privilege. To approach racism, sexism, femmephobia, heteronormativity, heterosexism, and other forms of oppression from a purely academic point of view is a motherfucking privilege because you live in a world where you apparently aren’t directly affected by any of it and feel you can sit in your lily-white tower and pass judgements about what sort of words and actions and feelings and struggles are and are not valid.

It absolutely blows my mind that any person thinks that they can tell a 3rd party what sorts of emotions they are allowed to have or what sort of reactions to oppression are legitimate. But it is truly a feat of supercilious chutzpah to make judgements about the validity of the reactions of entire countries and cultures towards their centuries-long oppression. It’s just amazing.

To tell other people that you will not hear their words or listen to their arguments or accept their experiences unless they are offered without anger, passion, vehemence, or contempt is one of the main tools of perpetuating white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male privilege. Only people not affected by oppression - and thus those least qualified to comment on it - have the privilege to approach it with dispassion and civility.

In my experience, the philosophy of “live and let live” inevitably translates into “don’t rock the boat.”

omg this forever until the end of time. if you fucked up and want me to talk to you about it, there is no need for me to be patient.